Pride - An Endless Journey

I can’t possibly encompass all the ways pride has infiltrated my being, so I thought I’d simply start by sharing the moment the “scales fell off my eyes” and I became devastatingly aware of my pride.

I remember driving home from work and innocently praying, “God please reveal any dark area of my heart that you want to change.” What happened next was unexpected and overwhelming. Immediately images began flooding my mind of all the ways I’d walked in pride. It was so devastating that I had to pull off the road and cry for 20 minutes. I exaggerate not, it was quite awful.

As fast as the images could fly through my mind, a correlating Biblical reference quickly followed. How many times have I muttered, “I never murdered anyone” or “I don’t steal”? Little did I know – that of all the sins I may or may not have committed; the one that bothered my God the most… was my pride. Isaiah 2:8, 12.

I realized that my adversary… His adversary’s most destructive sin was pride; desiring to be like God. That the original sin that cast humanity into darkness was pride… the desire to KNOW what God knows (Gen 3:5). Yet I find myself struggling with this same sin every single day.

It is Pride every time I uncontrollably reason – allowing my thoughts to recklessly stumble around in my head; desiring to map out and understand every unknown detail.

Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6. Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5.

Not only is it offensive that I have this driving desire to know what God knows (how, when, and why my life plays out the way it does), but it also creates an emotional cavern between me and God; because without faith it is impossible to please God… [but the wonderful thing is, that if I submit to His Will and trust him, I can count on the following] because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6.

This is only ONE of a 100 different ways my pride wiggles its way out through my life… trust me, there’s more to come. I may break it up a bit, because honestly, it’s a little overwhelming to look into the mirror of pride – and see me looking back. I hope you'll consider joining my journey of healing. Subscribe for updates!

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Feel free to share your thoughts, struggle, and overcoming tips. I'm sure they will spark another element of my healing journey. If you feel my journey is helping you along yours, or you think it will help someone else in your world, please share this. If COVID taught us anything, it's no matter if you're an introvert or inward thinker, isolation and the sense of being alone is pure torture. Let's not do this alone!

You're always welcome!

Carrie ~