Don't Point that Finger at Me - #4. You Look Stupid

Looking stupid; I think we’re terrified of looking stupid or incompetent. God forbid we be imperfect or weak in an area. Are we really so disillusioned that we think it is humanly possible to be great at everything, all of the time?

Clearly, there are many other reasons – but we can’t “stay here” forever. Proverbs 12:15-20

The other heartbreaking consequence is the destruction this causes in relationships, both personal and professional. Pointing the finger, refusing to take responsibility – or simply refusing to apply grace and understanding, is despairing to those around us.

With all of this said, I do believe that we are to practice wisdom. I believe that in order to lead ourselves, in order to lead others, and in order to maintain healthy, intelligible relationships, we must be able to have honest conversations that allow “iron to sharpen iron.” Proverbs 27:17

So how is this different than pointing our finger? I believe there are a few filters we can apply to help measure and acknowledge a raised finger vs. constructive feedback.

Are we being defensive? If we feel the need to defend ourselves – and in doing so, find that we are pointing the finger at someone else; it is not constructive – and it probably means we should be looking in the mirror.

Are we being critical or browbeating the person to their face or behind their back? Proverbs 20:19

Have we considered where they are coming from – or current circumstances that might impact their position or point of view? Are we willing to apply understanding, even if it means sacrificing our own position or point of view? Do we care? Philippians 2:3-4 Are we looking to win? What is the prize? What is the cost? Is it worth it?

Is it necessary to address – in order to grow, progress, or prevent unnecessary circumstances in the future? Is the goal to improve and to gain unity and understanding? Proverbs 15:31-31

Will addressing the issue bring healing and restoration? Will it prevent a greater issue that could cause damage? Matthew 18:15

Is it wrapped in love? Are we looking to invest and nurture or to tear down and defeat? Proverbs 13:10-12

As usual, we are all guilty of “losing our cool” and saying, doing or reacting inappropriately from time to time. This is where grace enters the picture.

We must ask ourselves, are we in a constant cycle of pointing out other’s wrongs, defending ourselves, pleading our case, desperately trying to convince others that we are right, smart… perfect? If so, it is time to do as the Good Book says and take the LOG out of our eye and get real with ourselves so we can experience something that resembles peace and freedom. John 7:24 I pray that my need to look in the mirror and unpack this, provides you with a little guidance and hope. None of us have it all figured out, but if we just keep seeking to know better, we can do better. I hope you'll consider joining my journey of healing. Subscribe for updates!

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Carrie ~