Am I a Bully? Are You?

Bully… no matter what age or stage of life we are in, the word “BULLY” tends to create an upwelling of righteous anger and often, even disgust. So what is the technical definition of “bully”?

The repeated action of using strength, influence, or voice (words) to INTIMIDATE or TEAR SOMEONE DOWN; typically with the goal of CONTROLLING that person – or to SHAME and HUMILIATE them in order to LIFT THEMSELVES UP.

We typically go straight to a childhood playground in our minds when we think about bullying. As we become adults, we tend to put bulling in a severe category that entails things like physical abuse, vulgar name-calling, derogatory statements, etc. I don’t know about you, but I rarely think about how bullying can occur in our day-to-day seemingly healthy adult relationships. I feel like God revealed something to me and it’s something that we can easily fall in to if we are not aware.

Relationships are sacred, they should invite both people the safety of being imperfect, of failing, of falling short, and hopefully experiencing growth. There's never a case where it's justifiable to drag other's character, their shortcomings, and their weak moments through the mud. If we are honest, when we do this, isn’t our real purpose to ELEVATE OURSELVES? Don't be too quick to defend yourself, it takes a brave person to dig a little deeper.

Aren’t we really seeking to reveal their “wrongness” and validate our “rightness”?

Aren’t we using our “influence” with that individual or individuals to paint the person in a negative light?

In almost every case, isn’t that an effort to CONTROL the listener’s perception of our “loved one”, showering them with SHAME and HUMILIATION?

Stay tuned, we'll dig a little deeper... I hope you'll consider joining my journey of healing. Subscribe for updates!

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Feel free to share your thoughts, struggle, and overcoming tips. I'm sure they will spark another element of my healing journey. If you feel my journey is helping you along yours, or you think it will help someone else in your world, please share this. If COVID taught us anything, it's no matter if you're an introvert or inward thinker, isolation and the sense of being alone is pure torture. Let's not do this alone!

You're always welcome!

Carrie ~