Confessions of a Prostitute | Where Healing Begins
- Carrie Davis
- Apr 13
- 4 min read
Updated: Apr 28
When God Speaks to Identity: A Healing Journey Through Brokenness and Truth
This is a transparent view into my humble and messy story... where healing begins. About 15 years ago, I captured this vision God gave me. I still get emotional when I revisit it, because I see how much God has healed me... and my heart aches for the little girl inside—that I abandoned for so long. This expression is in no way a judgement of those who have either chosen or have been exploited in this industry. Quite the opposite. It's with deep compassion, I relate on some level with anyone who is walking a path they didn't visualize for themselves as a child.
The Exhausting Process of Healing
As I continue to walk my path of healing, I’m consistently surprised by God’s persistence—which often requires me to look deeper and heal deeper. Being transparent, it can be quite exhausting. It feels like a constant juggling act: uncovering cobwebs, testing truths against lies, and what sometimes feels like a never-ending emotional micrographic surgery process. Psalm 38:17–18
What is Micrographic Surgery?
It’s the process of removing one thin layer of cancerous tissue at a time. As each layer is removed, it’s studied under a microscope for the presence of cancer cells. If it’s cancer-free, the surgery ends. If not, more tissue is removed where cancer cells were found, and the process is repeated until a cancer-free layer is reached.
That about sums up how I’ve felt recently. As soon as I get through one layer, I’m met with another that must be addressed. James 5:16
Don’t get me wrong—I want healing. I want peace. I want freedom. But as I said, it’s exhausting.
A Picture of Broken Identity
My most recent contemplation came in the form of a picture, as most things do for me. I saw myself as a prostitute—a broken, tired, used-up prostitute.
The Lies That Try to Define Us
Immediately, the definition became unmistakably clear.
Although many may choose the sex-working industry... there are many who have fallen victim to it. It is these people I related with in my vision. First, they are a person. A person with a story, often marked by a painful journey that somehow led them to this intersection in life.
Depending on how they arrived "here," they may have been convinced that their “being” is not valuable or worth protecting. They may not know their worth. Imagining being deeply cherished, accepted, nurtured, or loved is likened to a fantasy. They often don’t see their incredible, innocent beauty. And they likely struggle to see hope beyond their current circumstance.
The shame and fear can become overwhelming as they secretly wish someone would “see” them, help them, want them. They are stuck. THEY ARE ME. Proverbs 13:12
How did I get here? How do I get out of here? John 10:10
I felt like the enemy was my pimp—repeatedly reminding me that even if I wanted freedom from this bondage, no one would accept me. And even if they did accept me, they’d never truly be able to love me. There’s this sense that I would be tolerated, not enjoyed—simply tolerated. I see metaphoric “eyes” watching me with judgment, pity, disappointment, and shame.
“They” thought I was better than this. “They” didn’t realize I was this far gone. Mark 6:1–5
Where Healing Begins | Stepping Out of the “Streets” of Shame
What I saw next was a picture of me defiantly kicking off my spiritual “stiletto heels” as an act of independence. I’m still me, but I’ve decided to stop allowing the lies running through my mind to keep me “on the streets.”
I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t know if anyone will receive me. But I know I have to step out and take a chance. Philippians 3:12–15
What came next brought me to tears. I saw what I believe to be Jesus’ great-great-great… grandmother. Let me explain.
Rahab and the Possibility of Redemption
Many generations before Jesus, there was a woman commonly referred to as Rahab the Harlot. She had clearly lived a life that was questionable by many standards. Yet God chose her to hide two “men of God” in her home—men who were scouting the future fall of Jericho.
Now I don’t know about you, but that seems like a questionable choice. And yet God intentionally spared her and her family. She later married Joshua, and it has been said she became part of the lineage that leads to Boaz—and ultimately, to Jesus. Ephesians 2:4–10
When God Rewrites Your Story
Why is this important? Why did it bring me to tears?
Because if God could be so intentional in choosing Rahab—an assumed prostitute—to be part of His Son’s lineage, is it possible that He could choose me too? That He could use me?
My head says “yes,” but my heart is still catching up.
I have to believe that if God took the time to paint this picture for me, then He truly intends to heal this “prostitute’s” heart—and He has already planned good things for me to walk out.
Here’s a little truth to help offset the lies that swirl around us:
I hope you’ll consider joining my journey of healing. You can follow me on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok—or subscribe for updates.Feel free to share your thoughts, struggles, and overcoming insights. I believe they may spark another layer of healing in me as well.
If my journey is helping you along yours—or you think it could help someone else in your world—please share it. If anything, the past years have reminded us that isolation can be deeply heavy. Let’s not do this alone.
You’re always welcome.
Carrie ~
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