Hang On - It's A Roller Coaster Ride

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I’ve mentioned before that I feel like God speaks to me in pictures, beautifully painted in my mind and heart. At one of many crossroads—where uncertainty was the only thing certain—He dropped an image that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I hope it encourages you as it did me. More than encouragement, it redefined my entire life… or at least my perception of it.

A Job, a Deadline, and a Surprise Extension

For context, I’ll briefly share the circumstance in case it offers you practical hope. I landed an amazing job at a local high school focused on college prep, acceptance, and funding. They actually created a new, non-existing role for me after interviewing me for a different position. They determined they needed my specific expertise outside of the original role.

There was no budget, which meant two things. First, the great news: due to my 20+ years of experience, my salary was 30% higher than the original range associated with the job I applied for. Second, the not-so-great news: when it came time to renew my contract, it didn’t appear those in charge would be extending funding. It's a roller coaster ride, for sure!

On my last day—just hours before my credentials would expire and I would be dropping off my laptop—I received an email… OUT OF THE BLUE. No warning, no discussion, just an email directly from the CFO. It was an extension. They were renewing my contract for another year.

I was beside myself and overwhelmed with joy. Not just because I needed the income, but because I was deeply passionate about the lives being changed through this organization.

So what does a roller coaster have to do with this? It’s not hard to imagine—I felt like I was on one. But that’s not what God showed me. What He showed me reframed everything.

The following vision came to me about two weeks before my contract ended, after leadership confirmed all efforts had been exhausted and they would not be extending my role.

The Vision That Reframed Everything... It's A Roller Coaster Ride

After anxiously awaiting takeoff, the roller coaster began the slow climb up the initial ascent most coasters begin with. The twist with this one was that it was enclosed. I had no idea what the track looked like—I was flying blind.

And then it happened. A rush filled my heart as I became overwhelmed with the confidence that my God, my Abba, was a master coaster builder. Even writing this now brings tears as I remember the intensity of His love in that moment—His nearness, His kindness, and the assurance that I was not abandoned or at risk.

It was as if He whispered to me, “Remember, you are My princess, and I built this ride just for you. I’ve perfectly engineered every twist, turn, loop, hill, and drop to carry you effortlessly to the end. I’m not building the track in real time. It doesn’t suddenly end. I planned it in advance. You don’t need a miracle. You don’t need Me to come through. You don’t even need to beg Me to fix anything. There’s nothing to fix. You are securely attached to a purposeful track with a very specific destination.”

You Are Securely Attached to the Track

But that wasn’t all.

He reminded me I was harnessed in.

I won’t fall out. I can’t fall out.

And in true Abba fashion, He whispered:

“Yes, it's a roller coaster ride... but I want you to have a choice. You can white-knuckle it, close your eyes, kick and scream, and even make yourself sick. Or you can let go. You can raise your hands. You can laugh. You can be surprised. You can have fun. It’s up to you.

I love you either way, but I hope you’ll trust how much I love you—and anticipate all the great things I’ve built into the architecture of this ride.

I’ve built things no other Engineer could imagine. It’s custom-built just for you, based on the mysterious things I planted in your heart—your desires, your hopes, your passions.

Choosing Trust Over Fear in the Unknown

I promise you can trust Me. I’m not distracted, and I won’t forget you. If you stay seated and locked in, there’s nothing you can do to eject yourself from what I’ve built. You are safe. You are loved.”

Side note… I wish you could have seen me writing this—the uncontrollable, snotty, tear-filled release that came with it. It is still as raw as the moment He gave me that vision.

I pray that as you face the unknown, you know how safe you are.

But I also want to acknowledge something honest: we can derail things. We can thrash about and push away people who were meant to share the ride with us. We can make ourselves sick with worry, overwhelming ourselves and those around us. We can unbuckle, thinking we can escape the unknown on our own, sometimes resulting in real loss—loss of relationships, health, hope, purpose, or even life itself.

What It Means to Rest in Abba’s Care I’ll end with this.

Our Abba desires nothing more than to see us walk in joy and trust. Like a parent watching a child open a long-awaited gift or step into a dream destination, He delights in our becoming. He is present when we hurt, even when we cannot—or will not—manipulate circumstances or people to make things feel safer. He gives each of us autonomy to choose.

I can’t fully comprehend the discipline it must take to watch us misuse the gift of will, even to the point of hurting one another. This is where my understanding ends… and I simply rest in His goodness and His promise to never leave or forsake us.

And this is true for you too.

I hope you’ll consider joining my journey of healing. Subscribe for updates.

Feel free to share your thoughts, struggles, and overcoming insights. I believe they may spark another layer of healing in me as well. If my journey is helping you in yours—or you think it could help someone else—please share it.

If anything, the past years have reminded us that isolation can be deeply heavy. Let’s not do this alone.

You’re always welcome.

Carrie ~

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